Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Part #8 Good Bye Cruel Worlds!

Post By ag Wed Jun 21, 2006 at 12:43:09 pm EDT	Subject Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Part #8 Good Bye Cruel Worlds! Originally All Right. Time to get serious about the PV. Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Repost Thread	In Reply To ag Wed Jun 21, 2006 at 11:42:25 am EDT

<< Prev In Thread	[New] [Edit] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]

valign=top>

To see what has happened before in Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses

The Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Web Page!

Now on with the show…

On Vessel, the self aware spaceship that orbits 22,305 feet above the Earth, the members of the JBH plus a few others discuss what’s been happening.
Amazing Guy, aka Scott Brunsen explains, “The Plaid Wall is still destroying universes. I thought maybe we could stop that before we escaped the Cowled Criminal’s headquarters.”
Dancer, member of the Lair Legion, responded, “The Criminal has Yo and all those powerful artifacts. Together that’s what is keeping it going. We have to go back and stop CC! We could stop it for good and free the others.”
“I agree.” LuminousLudicrousKineticKid!, the future version of CrazySugarFreakBoy! spoke up. Both he and CSFB were there together, having also escaped the Criminal’s clutches. “If we don’t stop him the Crisis on Infinite Earths will continue to manifest in the Parodyverse.”
“Yes! What my fun loving future self means is that the universe is trying to live the events of DC Comic’s Crisis.” Blank stares from everyone except Scott and Goldeneyed. Only they have actually read enough comic books to know what CSFB is talking about. The Wired Wonder sees the confusion and explains further, “The Parodyverse has a way of copying other events, locations and even people from other universe. It puts it’s own slant to it, but that’s what it does. Well thanks to that Hood wanna be, the universe is following the events of a major comic book apocalypse where a whole bunch of people died or worse, got changed into sucky versions of themselves.”
“Wait.” Bry Kats, aka Goldeneyed stops him, “Hold on. You mean that big thing DC did way back in the 80’s? The one where they goofed up some of their characters and improved some others? That’s what this is all about?”
LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! continued, “Yes! Right now we are in the red skies, Vibrational tuning forks phase. The next step will be too far to turn back!
Lisa spoke up, “And you say that Hood look a like wants it to happen? Well why don’t we just go back with the rest of the Legion and beat him to a pulp?”
spiffy raised his hand, “Uh, guys? How do we get everyone to the future? I mean maybe it’s easy for you AG but most of us don’t have that kind of power.”
“And maybe some of us really cant go right now.” Troia 215 interjected under her breath.
Jackie Rabbit says, “The Crisis isn’t the only problem. The Yurt vanished in beam of light and we have no idea where he went.”
Desert Rose spoke up, “There have been reports all over of other villains vanishing as well.”
“But what about Swift? He’s still a prisoner of the Cowled Criminal, remember?” Kid Produce reminded them of their lost member.
“Don’t worry kid. We’ll get in there and bust him out.” Jack Rabbit, Jackie’s long lost brother comforted his team mate.
Troia spoke up again, this time for everyone to hear, “I cant be gone from Amazon Isle at a time like this. You say you cant open a portal to my home Amazing Guy?”
“I cant open a portal to an alternate Earth like the Satireverse, but your Isle sits at the crossroads. Maybe…” he strains for a moment and a portal, a very small one, opens.
Everyone says good bye to the ex-LL secretary turned Amazon Queen as she steps through. The portal closed right after.
“AG, I hate to bother you but I need to check on my friends in Badripoor.” Spiffy ask the tired hero. Scott replied by opening another portal to the fern phenomenon’s new home.
“Bye guys. If you need me for the invasion just call.”
After he has left Goldeneyed spoke up, “AG you look tired. I’ll port Lisa, Dancer and the two CrazySugarHeroes to Lair Island.”
“Yes. You just sit down.” Dancer agreed as she helped the Protector of the Parodyverse to a chair. “We’ll get home with G-Eyed.”
Bry held onto LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! and the two vanished. He returned quickly and did the same with CrazySugarFreakBoy!. In the wink of an eye he was back again.
As he held Lisa’s hand to port her to the island she called out to the JBH, “Don’t worry guys and gals. We’ll tell Mumph about all of this. We’ll get a group set up to go back and we’ll call when we’re ready.”
“Sounds good Lisa. Let us know.” Jackie replied. The First Lady of the Lair Legion was gone.
Dancer looked at the JBH. Kid Produce, Horizon, Desert Rose, Jackie Rabbit, Jack Rabbit, Eli the Elemental and of course AG all looked exhausted.
A flash of light brought G-Eyed back. “Ready Dancer?”
“Yes. I suppose so. Are you guys going to be alright?”
Scott had already lied down on a couch like chair in the meeting room while Jackie replied, “We’ll be fine. Just get back to Mumph and tell him what’s going on.”
Dancer experiences the familiar sensation of vanishing in Bry’s golden light then suddenly appearing in the monitor room of Lair Mansion.
She and Bry are confused by the worried expressions on the faces of Lisa, Hatman, Visionary and the computer image of Hallie.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“We thought you didn’t make it out!” a relieved Visionary explained.
“Come again?”
Hallie spoke with shock still in her voice, “Vessel just exploded.”
“WHAT?”

Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Part #8 Good Bye Cruel Worlds!

The Cowled Criminal’s Citadel, where the owner of this base at the End of Time allows himself a smile.
“Master…er…er! You destroyed the JBH! Now Amazing Guy wont stop… op… op your plans master!”
“Simpleton! If you think a simple thing like that will stop those fleas you’ve got more to learn then I thought! But he will not get in my way. All I need is a few moments more and both the prime Parodyverse and it’s twin, the Satireverse, will fall before my might!”
KAAATHOOOOM!
Amoral Guy, Amazed Adaptoid, several of Duplicate Death’s doubles and Speedshark all smash through the wall. The Criminal and his minion, the Spaced Fandom, look towards the direction these villains came from.
There in the new opening is Eggo, the Living Waffle. His Cosmic Syrup drips over the inert forms of Prizecatcher, Twisted Organ and Horrible Hair.
“PROTECT ME MASTER!” The Spaced Fandom whimpers as he hides behind his master’s deep crimson cloak.
“You fool! This overgrown breakfast item holds no threats here!” the Cowled Criminal spat with defiance. His eyes glowed red.
“IT- IS- OVER! I- HAVE- COME- TO- TEAR- DOWN- YOUR- HOUSE- OF- CARDS- AND- FREE- THOSE- YOU- HAVE- TAKEN! YOUR- MADNESS- ENDS- NOW!”
The Cowled Criminal calmly walked over to the floating cosmic being and said with no fear whatsoever, “Tell me now, Eggo. If you were so sure of your victory why did you take the others to safety first? The only reason I can see for that action was because you knew the outcome.”
Eggo sends out pure cosmic force at the Criminal but the man doesn’t flinch. Even his clothes remain unharmed. “DO- NOT- PRESUME- YOU-CAN…”
“I can do what I please. I inherited my father’s retconing abilities, I’ve gained the power of my pet Yo-Being AND the various objects of power I’ve stolen. You have no power to stop me Eggo. Nor does the Constellation, the Family of the Pointless, mighty Galactivac or even the over stuffed Triumvirate. I’ve humored them so far but really I think the time for play is over. Watch and learn my little breakfast snack.”
With that the Cowled Criminal turned around and gestured to the blackness all around them. Windows in space appeared, showing various beings in their own dimensions and pocket universes.
With a wave of his hand the Zeku Dimension closed off, causing the Rhino Avatar housed there to try with all his might to contact his champion Nitz the Bloody.
The Cowled Criminal then gestured again and the Deceased Gods Retirement Home far in the lands of Death was cut off from the Parodyverse. Woopsa the Rakshasa towel boy turned Chairman of the Board worried for his friend in the Lair Legion.
Following that the Cowled Criminal closed down the Celestian City, effectively putting the Celestian space robots into sleep mode.
He continued to shut down each dimension or pocket universe.
The Void Spectre and the Parody Master could no longer manifest in the Parodyverse. Lord Resolution lied still as he’s been since his last campaign. The Infrequent Aardvark was blocked from returning to the Parodyverse as well. The King of Stories screamed from his domain while noble Oldman discovered he too could not access Middlegard from his walk a bout.
His subjects, the Ausgardians, assembled by Donar’s side, trying with all their might to break the new barrier.
The Dead Lords of Hell (consisting of Mefrothto, Blackhurt, Dormaggedon, Mr. Lucifer and Frightmare) all gnashed their teeth and growled that their plans would be frustrated.
The Low Evolutionary fell into a deep trance and the Austernals became trapped within the Omni-Brian from which they were healing themselves from a recent attack.
The Hedgehogs of Time found themselves blocks from the time stream while the God-Like Enigma found himself exiled to a pocket dimension and locked within. The Cowled Criminal allowed himself a smile and soon the other cosmic cousins were locked away. He would’ve have done the same to the Gamesmaster and She-Captor but these two Elders were already dead.

“Whats wrong Eggo? Cant move? Do you like how I’m cleaning house? As you can see each cosmic threat that could possible threaten my plans is safely tucked away.” He pointed at each threat and as he mentioned them each window went out. “Right there is Brian, the Semi-Demi God. And over there is Samhain, the former Destroyer of Tales. Both are dead in the current era but thanks to my manipulations of time neither can travel to my time to be used to vanquish me. The Constellation is still out of the picture, Shabba'Dhabba'Dhu and it’s ilk continue to sleep, so does the slumbering elder gods who remain locked in their sleep of death, the Paradox Stranger was removed from the board and remains trapped in the Manga Shoggoth’s lair and as for the Family of the Pointless?”

Eggo saw as Coincidence, Lusting, Whinging, Glamour, Temporary Death and some man all were gathered together in one of the Realms of the Pointless.
“What am I doing here?” David Garret whom once was called Space Ghost asked.
“Yes! That’s a good question! I was on Earth. This cant be right.” Temporary Death responded.
The Cowled Criminal grinned as the various Realms of the Pointless were shut out. “There. No help from them I’m afraid. Now to sweep off the remaining pieces…”

Atlas and Census Jones’ shop vanished from Paradopolis. The Crimson Cyclist found himself exiled to a pocket dimension.
“Whoops! How could I be so careless?” with a casual flick of his wrist the window showing Galactivac, the Living Death that Sucks, went out. The powerful world destroyer fell into status just like so many others.
“Of course there still is the Triumvirate but I’m far more powerful then them. If they could’ve squashed me they wouldn’t have sent away their precious Shattered Worlds. Since they clearly fear me I’ll keep them around to watch. It’s the least I could do to repay one of them for the gift of knowledge that particular member gave me.
That only leaves the demonic Pumpkin Jack whom would care less about messing with my plans, the enigmatic Unknown who lacks the shear power to stop me and the various Hero Feeders whom could serve me if I choose.”
The windows blinked out, leaving only one, the window to the Heart of Souls, home of the Omnisoul.
“Yes. Your master. He’s all that’s left.”
The Omnisoul was looking defiantly towards the window. He knew the Cowled Criminal was watching him.
“There is one other thing I can do Eggo. With the power at my disposal I can do more then lock away cosmic beings. I know the Omnisoul has planned against me for all this time. It was he who put into motion the beginnings of Amazing Guy, Jack Rabbit, Trickshot, Swift and Justin Tyme. He saw, just as I did, how one of them was destined to ultimately stop me. I have put into motion steps to crush each one of his agents and now I will do one better.”
Energy pulses from the incredible artifacts held in stasis by the Criminal. Then with a grand gesture that same energy pulses outward, strait for the Heart of Souls.
Eggo watched as his master, the Omnisoul, as well as his entire crossroads dimension, was vaporized.
“NOOO! YOU- COULDN’T!” but Eggo could feel his connection to the Omnisoul fade.
“I could and did. This just leaves you. Time to ‘let go of my eggo’.” Powerful energy lashes at Eggo, frying him to a crisp. The cosmic being only had enough time to tense up as his body was completely consumed.
Tiny scraps of burnt waffle sprinkled to the ground only to be instantly vaporized.
The Cowled Criminal smiled.

The Lair Mansion, 2005
All the Legionaries currently on the roister that are not missing are in the War Room, trying to get a handle on where things are with the strange Crisis gripping the universes. Attending are Sir Mumphrey Wilton, Falcon, Dancer, Lisa, Goldeneyed, dull thud, the Manga Shoggoth, Mr. Epitome, the Librarian, Hatman, CrazySugarFreakBoy!, Al B. Harper and Visionary. Mixed in with them are the members of the Junior team; Kerry Shepardson, Harlagaz, Fashion Accessory and Hacker Nine. Hallie is present in her holographic form, Fin Fang Foom and the Dark Knight have returned to duty for the duration of the Crisis and finally the far future agent of chaos, the LuminousLudicrousKineticKid!, is there as a refugee from the Cowled Criminal.

The room is filled with white noise as the crowd talk amongst each other.
“I would have kept the Juniors away but Lisa pointed out that there is safety in numbers. I think she’s just trying to get me involved in this thing. I can never cut a break. Evil.”
“Like Fako could keep us away! Two Juniors are gone and when someone messes with one of us…”
“I still believe we would do better with out loose cannons like the dragon and the vigilante around.”
”So are you going to tell them they should leave?”
“….”
“My parents are doing better and so are the Gangbusters. I just wish I knew how Kip and Sydney are doing.”
“Yes. I’m wondering why she took Asil? Why have the clone when the original is right here?”
“I really can not be bothered by meetings right now. I wish we would get this over with. I don’t like being away from the MPL during times like this.”
“You should have seen her! They had poor Yo all hooked up to that machine. She’ll keep pouring thought power into him until she dies! That monster has her believing all of Yo-Planet is in trouble!”
“Hows the machine coming?”
“Well Zach I’ve isolated the potential curve redactor but the ionic pulsating gwadphonic spheres are really giving me a problem. I just don’t think I can turn back the Anti-Story.”
“I’m getting restless! We should be out there, doing SOMETHING!”
“We cannot just fly into this with our weapons blazing. There will be a proper time to strike.”
“Is that you talking DK or ‘him’?”
“….”
“Beth and Lisette are fine. Uhuna is with them.”
“~And you say the entire JBH was aboard Vessel when it blew? Maybe AG ported them out?~”
“I doubt it. He was pretty wiped out.”
“Hallie said the ship crashed in Antarctica.”
“I will have Cthandra check out the area then.”
“Better have Ebony go with. There’s no reason to scare them.”

Sir Mumphrey calls them to order, “Alright ladies and gents. I’ve called this meeting to discus a possible rescue mission. We know that Yo and the hero known as Swift are still imprisoned at the Cowled Criminal’s headquarters. He also has multiple artifacts including Knifie and Desert Rose’s sword. Yes Dancer?”
“Desert Rose ALSO had her weapon. I believe the ones the Criminal is holding are from other times too.”
“Crap. As if this wasn’t confusing enough!”
“Alright alright. Well then what we must do is…”
“Wait! What about Ham-Boy, Glory and the others?”
“Miss Shepardson we will not concern ourselves with them. Humdinger and the Lurker have them on a special mission and we have no idea where. When we get more information on them or Trickshot and Nats, or any of those she took, we’ll act.”
“Figures.”
The screen clicked onto a location in the city while Hallie spoke up, “Incoming message from Liana.”
Finny’s head snapped to the direction so fast he knocked dull thud to the floor.
“Legion? Good! You’re there! What do you want me to tell the press? I mean it’s getting crazy and Amber and I are getting swamped with phone calls.” Amber St Clare, the LL government liaison could be seen right behind Liana. Both women looked tired. As the LL public relations agent Liana had gotten way too many calls and emails about the current crisis and what, if anything, the Legion are doing about it.
“You’re both doing swimmingly. Tell them we’re on it and things will be back to normal soon enough.” Mumph explained.
“Alright. But what are you guys doing about the giant tower that appeared in Off Centre Park?”
“What tower?”
Hallie’s face came on the screen, “Incoming message from NTU-150.”
The armored hero could be seen flying near the very same golden tower the girls mentioned. Exiled Thonggarian warrior Shazana Pel and elemental hero Alcheman could be seen flying near the structure in the background. “Legion? There’s a giant tower here in Off Centre Park! A few heroes have gathered to check it out.” He moved his two-way communication card to show ManMan and Knifie, Nitz the Bloody, Frogman and Banjoooo all at ground level checking over the machine.
The machine, another one of the Lurker’s Vibrational Sporks, was massive.
“Do you need our assistance?” Hatman asked.
“No. Nothing is happening here so there’s no need. I’ll let you AARRGH!”
For the collective Legion and friends the communication card went dead.

At the tower it was something quite different. NTU-150 crashed into a deserted hot dog cart as the other heroes on the scene started for their attacker.
The woman’s body was filled with energy. It was impossible to tell where her body ended and her energy tendrils started. The heroes didn’t have time to figure it out though as energy tendrils lashed out. Within moments she had grabbed ManMan and Shazana Pel.
“Faster Joe!” Knifie called out to his wielder as Joe Pepper tried to cut the energy tendril with the ancient sentenent weapon.
The attacker used her energy to fling Shazana Pel a mile away while Joe succeeded and dropped to the giant spork. He grabbed on and wrenched his left arm in the process.
“Shockeku!” Nitz called out but nothing happened. “Hey! What the &*^ happened to my power?”
The attacking woman did not give him a chance to find out as she blasted him into some trees. That’s when Banjoooo stepped on her.
“So much for her!” he said just before she unloaded enough solar energy to burn off his foot. She blasted him into a near by building where he landed. His foot was growing back but he was unconscious.
She took out ManMan with a pin point blast of energy just as Frogman and Alcheman (in a rock-hard form) piled on her. She blasted them back but Alcheman quickly touched his tattoos, turning to water. He then tried to put her solar energy out. She crashed to the gound a soggy mess.
Alcheman turned to normal and stood over her, ready to stop her again.
“You got the fool! Excellent!” Shazana Pel said as she flew back. In the air beside her was Hatman, Falcon and Fin Fang Foom.
The woman looked up, long black wet hair and anger in her eyes.
Goldeneyed appeared in a golden flash with Harlagaz and Mr. Epitome.
She then heard the roar of the Lair Legion’s mini-jet. It landed in a clearing while Frogman, CrazySugarFreakBoy! and LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! all leaped towards the gathering of heroes.

The woman was named Penny Forman but she didn’t go by that name anymore. Not since her father’s solar Power Rod exploded in her hand, turning her into a human rod of power. Her energy was limitless and the gathering heroes didn’t bother her.
Dancer helped Nitz to his feet while Al B. Harper, Hacker Nine and NTU (his armor was cracked badly) were starting to study the strange machine.
“Time to give up gel. We’ve got you heavily out numbered, what?” Sir Mumphrey Wilton said. He was flanked by Kerry Shepardson and Lisa.
Visionary was in the background looking up at the Vibrational Spork with extreme nervousness. “Uh guys? Why is it humming?”
The Dark Knight spoke up from behind him, startling Vish, “Don’t touch it. We need to examine it first.”
“It tastes quite peculiar.” The Manga Shoggoth bubbled as it sloshed around the base of the machine.
“DON’T TOUCH THAT YOU MONSTER!” Penny yelled as she flared into energy again. Goldeneyed ported, Epitome, Hatman and Harlagaz grabbed her and Falcon’s weapons came online. She blasted them away then blasted a bigger explosion, sending heroes flying everywhere. She blasted the Shoggoth away, clearly hurting it.
“Now THAT’S power!” Fashion Accessory said. Behind her Lisa, dull thud and Frogman were starting to get to their feet.
Hatman charged in a body of wind and water thanks to his typhoon hat while Alcheman followed in his water form. She blasted them both away with another shot of energy as she raised in the air. “Fools! Simpletons! You blunder in and think that simply because you have power you should do as you will! That’s how my father died! Trusting you morons!”
“Whats she talking about?” Frogman asked Goldeneyed.
“I have no clue.” G-Eyed ported on top of her but she blasted him away. His falling form was caught by Falcon.
Mr. Epitome climbed up the Spork and leaped at her. “Stand down or we’ll be forced to…”
She blasted him a mile away.
Finny smashed her with his tail while the rejuvenated Banjoooo hit her with his super large fist. She shook both impacts off and blasted both heroes into the water. “Get away! I am guarding this machine and none of you will get to it!”
Another blast, this time destroying Al B. Harper’s quickly built machine. The force of the blast sends Al, Zack and NTU flying. Dancer leaps then catches Al.
CrazySugarFreakBoy! grabs NTU-150 while saying to the armored hero, “She seems familiar. And that tower does too.”
Zack is saved by Visionary. “YOU saved me?” he asked.
“Don’t get used to it.”
Hatman and Shazana Pel flew in close. The winged warrior spoke up, “This is a weapon! Isn’t it?”
Penny replied with defiance, “Yes!”
“I KNEW IT! This is what’s causing the destruction! This is what destroyed my planet! By X-Hail I’ll destroy it where it stands!” she swoops in to attack while Hatman follows, trying to stop her. Penny lashes out, sending Pel into the Daily Trombone building.

Chunks of masonry fall to the street. With only seconds to spare, Detective Lee O'Callahan pushes editor J. Jonah Jerkson out of the way.
“Are you alright sir?”
“MONSTERS! That’s what all those creeps with powers are! MONSTERS! They wont get away with this! Fighting openly in the park while innocents get slaughtered!” Jerkson shouts.
Jeremy Wick, formally the hero known as Dynamite Boy, thinks to himself, “If only I still had my powers I could do something!”

The battle draws a lot of attention as Hector Richmond, the grandson of the golden age Pigeonman watches from the street. Frogman, Harlagaz and Alcheman all come flying to the pedestrian filled street below. Each one blazing with energy. Harlagaz smashes into the Starbucks coffee shop while Frogman crashes into the Bean and Donut café. Alcheman’s barely conscious as he falls towards Hector and an old lady who just left Starbucks. Hector pushes the lady to the ground, saving her.
“Are you all right miss?” he helps her up.
“I’ll be fine young man. Next time though don’t be so rough.” Agnes Wooster replied as she turned to see if her son Michael, secretly Alcheman, was alright.
Michael looked up to see her standing over him. His eyes widened, not because he saw his mother there, but because of the strange portal opening up behind her. “MOM! WATCH OUT!”
On the other side of the portal Hector Richmond saw a teenage girl fall out. As he helped her to her feet he realized she had wings.
“Are you alright?” he asked. He couldn’t believe her beauty.
Kyn’dra Hool , last survivor of the Royal Nest of the destroyed planet Thonggar, replied, “Where am I?”
The portal changed colors, sucked Michael and his mother inside and closed.

Back at the park Hatman held out his hands and said, “Wait a minute! This is stupid! Who are you and why do you attack us?”
“Cant anyone think? The Cowled Criminal has destroyed so many earths and this one is next! This machine will help somehow moron!” Penny snapped back.
“I get it.” Hatman replied with frustration. “Let me guess, the Lurker sent you? Well we’ve done all we can to save this world and now this happens, Well tell me, what can we do to help?”
“Start by getting rid of those!” she said, pointing to the Shadow Demons that started to appear from nowhere.
“I remember this! I know what scene in Crisis this is! Oh crap. That means…”
LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! nodded with grave fear on his/her/it’s/their face.

From a building across the street from the park three figures watch as the collective heroes engage the Shadow Demons.
“Sally I think things have just turned up a notch.” Baroness Elizabeth Sweetwater Dewdrop Zemo von Saxe-Lurkburg-Schreckhausen said while adjusting her telescopic binoculars.
“Silicone Sally” Rezilyant just looked on in fear.
“Well regardless, this bodes some watching. The power being thrown around could be very useful in the right hands.” Baron Ottokar Attila Kublai Tamerlane Zemo von Saxe-Lurkburg-Schreckhausen replied as he stood beside Elizabeth.

1775 AD

Justin Tyme appears briefly before shocked Revolutionary heroes ColoredColonialPatoisPatriot! and Miss Liberty Waltz.
He holds out his arm to someone, desperately trying to stop the constant bouncing from era to era he had found himself in but to no avail. He then vanished from sight.
“What do you think that ghost was?” the star spangled Waltz asked.
“I have no idea but here comes another one!” the brightly colored Benedicte LeBlanc (the African hero other wise called the ColoredColonialPatoisPatriot!) replied as the strange portal from 21st century Paradopolis appeared.
As Alcheman and his mother toppled out the portal vanished, stranding them there.

The year is 2020 ad, the city, Paradopolis. The Anti-Story Wall is here too as it eats through everything. Half the world is gone. The remaining heroes are in the middle of a battle for their very lives against the Shadow Demons as the world they know begins to crumble.
They are Prodigy and the Lair Legion and this is their last fight.
“"Come on people! Get those people out of here!" the future, older version of Goldeneyed shouts. He's the leader of the Lair Legion in this time period. "Trickshot and Nats has the relieve perimeter secure! I want Lisette to get you kids to safety too!"
"Who died and made you boss?" Slingshot, the cocky nephew of Trickshot shot off.
"After your leader CrazySugarFreakBoy! was wounded along with Messenger I became your leader! Now get!"
Slingshot didn't respond as Transit shot him a dirty look. No one knew if CSFB or Messenger would ever get out of their comas and he wasn't helping things by making cracks.
She continued to teleport people to the other side of the channel of water. The strange Anti-Story wall had all but destroyed the island that Parodopolis sat on.

Fleabot watched as NTU-173, Goldeneyed and SugarHighTeenSupreme! fought the Shadow Demons. Ever since he and Boy Wonder appeared in this future era they've had to fight off these strange creatures while guarding the Lurker's giant Vibrational Spork.
Boy Wonder was doing really well as he would trick the creatures into Al B. Harper's force field. The elder scientist with the grey hair discovered that sonics could disrupt the creatures so he created a solid sound force field to project around himself and his portable lab.
He, however, hasn't been of much help at all.
"What am I doing here?" the tiny robotic flea thinks, "When Humdinger told me there was something I could do for the Lurker I figured he would need me up in his satellite. Not here in the future on the front lines!" He looked up at the strange sonic energy field. It would flux every time a Shadow demon would strike it.
"Dr. Harper, how long will this field hold up?" Fleabot asked from Harper's shoulder.
"As long as it has to while Stacey does her thing." Al replied.
Former Legionnaire Nitz the Bloody tried various spells to keep the mystic channel open. Stacey Boaz, the teen hero known as Hat Trick, was using that mystical channel to push back the strange wall of Anti-Story. It wasn't working.
"Clearizuku!" the adult Nitz said. "Focus Stacey! You can do it!"
She was sweating bullets. "It's. so. hard! I. feel something. pulling at me!"
"Is it those creatures?"
"No. It's like some other force is pulling on my magic. Someone is using magic for a similar purpose and it's doing strange things to my spells!"

Goldeneyed's com-card clicked on revealing the older retired hero and Stacey's father, Jay Boaz. "Bry how is it going?"
"Not good Jay! We're out numbered and getting overwhelmed! Any word on the remaining ex-Legionaries?"
"Christopher Waltz and Harlagaz are still in London with Asil. They're trying to use that stop watch of hers to stop this thing. Amazing Gal called and said she and Hallie 2 have their hands full and Arnold Zemo is with spiffy Jr. in the Pacific."
"Alright Jay. Just keep me posted. NOO!" Bry shouted as he looked at the invading Shadow creatures. For some reason they started to move quicker. "Nancy! NANCY WATCH OUT!"
Nancy Foxglove, adopted daughter of CrazySugarFreakBoy! and hero known as SugarHighTeenSupreme!, wasn't frowning as the six Shadow Demons surrounded her.
"It's alright fearless leader! I can handle." she couldn't even finish her sentence as the creatures went right through her. She faded away as if she never was.
"NOOOOOO!" Stacey Boaz shouted, losing her concentration as her best friend just died.
"FOCUS DAMMIT! DON'T LET UP STACEY!" Nitz commanded.
"But Nancy!"
"Is dead! We're all gonna be dead! FOCUS!"

"She's gone! Just like that she's gone! That can't happen." Slingshot just stood there as the Shadow Demons swooped down to repeat their deadly embrace.
Transit couldn't help him because she was busy trying to open a portal. Both children would be the next to die.
"LEAVE THEM ALONE YOU BAST**DS!" Kerry Shepardson, adult woman of the Probability Fire shouted as she sent forth her powerful flames. The creatures didn't stand a chance. "Fred get them out of there!" she shouted to her husband, Ham-Man.
"Right on it lover!" he said with confidence as he grabbed Slingshot and moved towards Goldeneyed's child.
In the background Boy Wonder was carrying the unconscious Lisette.
Ham-Man and Slingshot froze in their tracks as a stray Shadow creature slipped between them and Transit.
She wasn't even watching, but instead she had opened a portal for several pedestrians to go through. The creature touched her shoulder, burning it.
"AARRGGH!" Deanna Katz screamed as she instinctively moved away. She opened a portal and fell through but something strange happened. The typical golden flash of the portal turned rainbow color and warped strangely, causing Deanna to completely vanish.
"Deanna?" Bry asked with unbelief. "Where did she go?"
Al looked at him with dread as the modern Fleabot clung to his shoulder. "She's gone Bry. I'm not reading her anywhere."
Sparks went up as Al's machine started to fry. "NO! NO! We have to keep stability! The components must've fried due to the large amounts of energy fluxes going on. I've got to take it apart and make the proper adjustments inside the machine. I don't think I have time to though!"
"What can I do?" Fleabot asked.
"Shrink into the machine and hold things together!" Al replied. "The coaxating cable must've been fried! I need someone to work inside the machine and make adjustments as I give directions."
"Consider it done!"
"Fleabot there is a chance we could get another flux. You might not make it out alive!" "Don't tell me that! Just tell me how to get in!" the tiny hero demanded. "I don't want to think of anything else!"

The year is 2020 ad, the city, Paradopolis. This is a different 2020 yet it faces the same peril. The Anti-Story Wall continues to eat through everything. Half the world is gone. The remaining heroes are in the middle of a battle for their very lives against the Shadow Demons as the world they know begins to crumble.
They are the Lair Legion and this is their last fight.

"Come on you lot! We've got precious little time to evacuate people out of the city. What?" Sir Mumphrey Wilton, retired Legionnaire shouts to his former team.
"Calm down uncle. We'll get them out." Samantha Featherstone tells him. As the new Keeper of the Chronometer of Infinity she has had many adventures but this one seems to have a certain finality to it. She won’t mention it to the others however.
"I can’t believe we get to work together again only to have the world falling apart." Asil said to Samantha. The two met before when Samantha traveled back in time twenty years to help the earlier Legion.
"Don't fret Asil. The Legion always wins. We'll be able to stop those crazy Shadow Demons and guard that. what did you call that large machine?"
"A Vibrational Spork. The Lurker sent the Idiom and I here to guard it but I'm not quite sure how we can be of much use."
"Speak for yourself little girl!" Letitia Gahagan, the villain called the Idiom shot back. She was bent over a make shift computer console with Cody Harper. The man had graying temples and a bubble pipe in his mouth. She continued, "Cody and I have just about managed to finish this sequence. Once we do we'll have the sonic thrusters online and powered up!"

Iris Paintbrush Sunrise, a.k.a. HyperActiveLunaticMiss! staggered for a moment. She was helping refugees on a hover platform. Her friend Katelyn Brunsen, the Imaginer, caught her before the colorful CrazySugarFreakHero fell. "Are you ok Iris?"
"Yes. I. I guess so. It feels like someone just walked over my grave. It's like some where, somehow, I died!"
Katelyn stares at her in shock.

"This isn't right! Something… something's out there!" Kristy Boaz, the magic using Witch-Hat said as sweat rolled down her brow.
"What do you mean?" Katar Clement, alien/mutate hybrid son of two long dead heroes also known as De Winged Streak wondered. He was watching over Kristy, not just because team leader Samantha asked him to, but because Kristy was his love.
"I mean it feels like someone is using magic to push back the Anti-Story wall but instead it's mixing with mine!"
"Can you stop yours?"
"NO!"

“ARRGH!” Goldenexile shouted as the Shadow Demons destroyed him. His teleportation powers, his energy manipulation powers and his matter transference powers, all his birthright, could do nothing to stop his final demise.
“Aw no. Not Bart. What are we going to do? They’re everywhere!” Conner Bastion, a.k.a. Trickshot, watched in shock as his friend died.
“We’re not going to let them get any further, that’s what! Ham-Man, Fashion Accessory, get over there and help him!” Christopher Waltz commanded. He was co-leader to Samantha and he wasn’t about to let anymore die on his watch.
Ham-Man and Fashion Accessory were the only husband and wife team on the current roister. They moved as one, using their clothing and meat generating powers to try a diversion. Nothing seemed to work

Harlagaz swung his mystical bat with a nail in it, M’jalcom TM, bringing down the full fury of the storm upon the Shadow Demons. “Begone foul miscreants!” he bellowed.
“Yeow! Watch the lighting big guy! You almost fried me!” John Boaz, Kristy’s twin brother and the new Hatman, warned as he zoomed through the skies with his dad’s Supersonic’s cap.

Letitia spoke up to anyone who would listen. She tried to hide the fear in her voice, “Uh guys, the readings are going off the scale! Something is happening!”
The gathered heroes watched with awe as the Shadow Demons started to shift.

2020 AD Paradopolis
The Idiom, Cody Harper, Asil and Samantha Featherstone watch from the makeshift control center while in the sky Harlagaz and the new Hatman do the same. The creatures start to move together…

2005 AD Paradopolis
With Penny Forman, Fin Fang Foom, Hatman and Shazana Pel above, Al B. Harper, Visionary, Kerry Shepardson, Dancer and CrazySugarFreakBoy! are some of the heroes on ground level watching as the Shadow Demons begin to make a pile.

1459 BC, Ancient Atlantis
More and more Shadow Demons continue to pile while Aaron, his daughter and Lady Chain-An watch.

1204 AD, Medieval England
The creatures’ black pile gets thicker. Helm Man, the BawdyBardJesterJouster!, Nats, Suicide Blonde and King Jarvikins watch with wonder.

1861 AD, an old mine in the Old West
The black pile grows larger as more Shadow Demons continue to join it. Jonah Burch, Trickshot and Thunder Reed fire their weapons into the pile as the LocoQuick-DrawSarsaparillaOutlaw!, Key-Whoa-No-Pay and Dream Catcher try to calm the horses.

2005 AD, The city of Satireopolis in the universe called the Satireverse
Jarvis, an older Hatman, the Acoustic Avenger, Ham-Boy, Kid Butcher and Veggie-Boy watch in horror as the ever increasing pile starts to dwarf them.

1944 AD, the small nation of Bovoria
Captain Courageous, Sgt. Drury, Lieutenant Stuart and De Brown Streak move back as the enlarging mound of black forms arms, legs and a head.

1390 BC, Ancient Egypt
The giant Shadow Demon dwarfs even the great pyramids as it’s eyes start to glow with energy. King Lui motions for Glory, Lisis, Pigeon Warrior and the PyramidProdigyAcolyteArchitect! to move back.

2020 AD, Parodopolis
Boy Wonder and Slingshot barely miss a blast of energy that lances down from the giant Shadow Demon’s eyes.

1879 AD, Victorian Paradopolis
Colonel Blanchford Bertram curses the giant Shadow Demon while the EccentricEtherInvestigatorExplorer!, Fashion Fairy and young Hagatha Darkness try to work on a way to shut down the creature.

2119 AD, the ruins of Parodopolis after the Resolution War,
Namatsi leaps out of the way while Shadow Dancer tries to use her Dark Farce powers and Dikki uses her laser pistols on the giant Shadow Demon to no avail.

From the hidden world under the earth called Skittleus to the far off planet Caphan, all watch in fear. The world is at an end and it’s heroes are powerless.

While aboard the Lurker’s ship, the man whom created the Vibrational Sporks watches it all.
He’s weak. He speaks to the teen from a long dead Earth, Greg Dean, “The Cowled Criminal saps my strength as each universe dies. The time has finally come.”
The Lurker looks up as the strange man in green, purple and white, holding a sign that reads ‘The End is Near!’, appears.
“What? Where am I now?”
The Lurker, not surprised but in fact expecting this man, replies, “Welcome Soothsayer. I am the Lurker and I’ve been expecting you.”
“What? How could you know me?” Soothsayer is shocked, but he always looks like that.
“Yes I know you. I know everyone past, present and future. I know you and I know all about your curse.”
“You do? Yes! I was cursed long ago to watch worlds die!”
“Now at this final moment you can finally learn the truth. Your constant trip from dieing world to dieing world? I did that.”
“WHAT?”
“Yes Soothsayer. I am responsible for your endless torment.”
“NO! YOU BEAST! YOU MADMAN! I SHOULD KILL YOU! YOU… Your sick! You know that? SICK!” That’s when Soothsayer notices the many, many screens showing all the heroes and villains through out all eras fighting the effects of the Crisis.
“You’re mad! You sit here and watch as the heroes fight on valiantly! How can you do that?”

1204 AD, Medieval England
The Shadow Giant blasts Nats. The hero falls into the waiting arms of Sir Valiant as the knight rides his winged horse Acorn.
Suicide Blonde snarls as she charges the dark creature.

1879 AD, Victorian Paradopolis
Young Hagatha Darkness sends spell after spell at the Shadow Giant but they bounce off. Dr Hakenfakir fires his Psychostave while Miss Burner uses her fire powers but they have no effect.

2005, the Moon Public Library
The Librarian and A.L.F.RED watch as half the library explodes outward.

2005, Badripoor
spiffy and Beverley Campbell hold each other as the Anti-Story Wall approaches.

3205 AD, the Guild of the Galactic’s giant ship
Vince Cosmo, Fred 22, Vistinex, Yo-du and Starsparrow fire their powers and weapons into the Anti-Story as it destroys their ship.

3205 AD (a different one), New Paradopolis,
Lightning-Hat, Amazingly Cosmic Boy, NTU-4000, Heroic Von-el, Exferno, Lightning-Hatress, WildYofire and Frozen Produce fire their powers into the oncoming Anti-Story Wall while Saturn-Ziles, Phantom Ghost Girl, Golden Elemental, Chameleon Dragon, Triple L and Bug Babe watch in fear.

1390 BC, Ancient Egypt
PyramidProdigyAcolyteArchitect! jumps away from a blast while Pigeon Warrior, Pigeonette, Glory and the wizard Muff Tu Ta charge the Shadow Giant.

The Lurker explains, “They must fight on to protect my machines.”
“Those are yours? I saw one in Atlantis! What are they?” Soothsayer asks while staring at the Multiversal battle.
“Salvation.”

1459 BC, Ancient Atlantis
Despite his great magic, Aaron is swatted away as the Shadow Giant moves towards his kingdom of Atlantis.

2020 AD, Paradopolis
Older Goldeneyed lies dead while Boy Wonder, NTU-173 and Slingshot try to fight off the Shadow Giant.
Stacey Boaz continues to concentrate her magic.

2020 AD (a different one), Paradopolis
Samantha Featherstone and Christopher Waltz are shouting orders while HyperActiveLunaticMiss! and the Imaginer barely miss getting killed by the Shadow Giant. Asil watches as Kristy Boaz continues to concentrate her magic.

2005, Paradopolis
Finny and Epitome fall as the Shadow Giant withstands attacks by Kerry, NTU-150, Hatman and Penny Forman.

2119 AD, the ruins of Paradopolis after the Resolution War,
Shadow Dancer is thrown off the Spork thanks to a blast from the Shadow Giant while Namatsi looks up in fear at the monster.

2005, Paradopolis,
Yuki looks up at the Ant-Story and sighs. It’s going to be a long night.

The first days of homo-sapiens,
Ant-throw of the Beaver People dodges a falling tree as the Anti-Story looms closer.

3205 AD, New Paradopolis, headquarters of the Lair Legion of Super Heroes
The view screen explodes, showering Visionary5, Natstar, Dream Cheryl and Von R Harper in Plexiglas.

1942 AD, Paradopolis,
Instead of fighting the usual Nazi spies, Liberty Lis, Quickstreak, Elastic Guy, Fakeman, Guardmaster, Power Rod and Dr. Dark-night help people escape the strange Plaid Wall.

The Lurker continues to explain, “Parodyverse Prime and the Satireverse are the next to fall. When they fall all the others will fall all the faster. The Cowled Criminal’s power is to great. The Anti-Story wipes out all story potential, effectively erasing the narrative. My machines will slow the vibrations and build up the narrative. They will help merge the two universes, making them stronger.”

1944 AD, the small nation of Bovoria
Sgt. Drury and the Howlin' Joes of Sleazy Company fire artillery into the Shadow Giant while De Brown Streak speeds civilians away.

2005, GothemMetropolis York,
Annabelle and Roland Foresight watch the Plaid Wall destroy the city from a tall rooftop while below Messenger swears loudly.

2005, Antarctica
Cthandra and Ebony move through the snow and ice towards the shattered remains of Vessel.

2005, Xander’s shop
Cleone looks out the window as the Anti-Story continues it’s path. She glances at Xander’s picture on the wall.

1861 AD, an old mine in the Old West
Trickshot saves Cinnamon Shepherdson from a blast. The Shadow Giant raises it’s foot to stomp Jonah Burch and the LocoQuick-DrawSarsaparillaOutlaw! Thunder Reed and Dream Catcher run to their rescue.

Soothsayer says with defeat, “These worlds will die like mine and all the others. Why did you force me to live through that? Why? You aren’t changing the future, you can’t alter the past. So what have you done?”

2005 AD, The city of Satireopolis in the universe called the Satireverse
As the Acoustic Avenger, CrazySugarFreakBabe!, Ham-Boy, Angelheart and Thundar attack the Shadow Giant, Jarvis stops for a moment and looks around. “Something’s wrong.”

The Lurker replies to Soothsayer, “The best I can. You don’t realize how weak I’ve become. The rest of my strength is conserved for the end. Soothsayer, don’t harm her until all is made clear.”
“Harm who?”
With a blast of cold angry fury, Humdinger smashes through the wall. “It’s over old fool!”
“Welcome Leeta, do what you must.”
“Humdinger! Call me humdinger you dolt! No, please, stop me! You raised me! I lo… I love.. He commands me now Lurker! And he wants your death!”
She sends a blast of energy, power the Lurker gave her, straight through her mentor’s chest.
Her energy spent Humdinger falls to the floor.
The Lurker, also falling, pressed a button on the console.

He crumpled on the floor, dead.
Soothsayer drops to the Lurker’s lifeless body. “LURKER? NO! No! You can’t die now! I don’t know how to operate those machines! What do I do?”

The Anti-Story sweeps through all times on both the Parodyverse and the Satireverse.
All the planets, all the eras, all the heroes, villains and anyone, anywhere…
Fades away.

To be continued?

Next up;

We’ll see.

Back in Time Footnotes

OH GOD YOU DEVIL NOTE:
There are a lot of cosmic forces in the Parodyverse. Hope I got them all in here.
It should be noted by the appearance of the Dead Lords of Hell that this takes place before their deaths…again.

IS THIS REAL NOTE:
Yes, this is real. This story is my big ‘thing’ with all my characters. There is a reason why I don’t right much of anything Post-Crisis. Some of my characters will survive. Question is which ones?

THE FUTURE IS WHAT I BREAK IT NOTES:
To help the confused, there are many possible futures within the Parodyverse. Two of them are shown here.
The first one, where the children of the Lair Legion formed a team called Prodigy, was created by poster Jay. He has expressed his thoughts on their future, or lack there of.
The second future features Mumphrey’s niece growing up and serving the Legion along with other versions of the LL children. This was touched on briefly.
#100: Ultimate Untold Tales of the Ultimate Lair Legion
This is the finishing part of the saga that introduced Samantha Featherstone.
This was briefly introduced by Ian and I took it from there in the History (for careful readers of the History, if there is such a thing).
The future of either of these two is up to further issues of Crisis.

IAN’S THOUGHTS ON THE FUTURE NOTE:
“I'm afraid I haven't got anything planned out about such a future. I've generally assumed that out of, say, ten million possible future outcomes of the Resolution War, nine million nine hundred thousand end in the destruction of the PV. Of the remaining hundred thousand, ninety thousand end horribly, with Earth being destroyed, conquered by Demons, corrupted by darkness or whatever. Of the remaining ten thousand, nine thousand end with Earth being wrecked and sent back to the stone age, with one or two of the heroes we know surviving to help rebuild the world over the next couple of thousand years. Of the remaining thousand, in nine hundred of them there's a gloomy post-apocalyptic SF world or a gloomy mystical post-industrial world where the shattered remains of our heroes cling on to try and set things right. In the hundred or so remaining possibilities things are a little brighter. Although there's devastation there's also a genuine victory - the heroes actually won something, and saved something, although often at terrible cost to themselves - and these are the ones that spawn the futures where Earth is eventually restored and humans reach the stars.

Of course, the Hooded Hood's intention is that there is no Resolution War at all. He intends to slaughter the creators of the Parodyverse before that can happen. Unfortunately there appear to be no accessible future timelines where he succeeds.”

I had to include this because it was too great to allow lost in the email.

This story is written and copyrighted (C) 2004 by Scott Bryan (also known as AG), and may not be
reprinted without permission. Annabelle, Roland, Anthony Foresight, Amazing Guy, Justin Time, Jack Rabbit, Jackie Rabbit, Desert Rose, Eli the Elemental, Kid Produce, Scott Brunsen, Tom Irving, the JBH and the Amazing Bunch all are properties of Scott Bryan and AG.

a.g.
Amazing Guy

Scott’s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!) and Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!).

Posted from U.S. Network
using Microsoft Internet Explorer 6/Windows 2000

[New] [Edit] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]